12 December 2009

Here I sit, procrastinating as usual. 5000 words due toward my dissertation by the end of the day and not one word written and very little work done to start. This is my life as it is.

My life at 38 is not how I thought it would be. I am single, overweight, feel unhealthy, stressed, cluttered, disorganised and in debt. All of these things are within my abilities to change - if I want them to. I know I definitely want to change all but the first item.

As for being single - I don't know what I want. I value my independence and I am only recently single and have been looking forward to focusing on myself for a change. It is too soon after coming out of a long-term relationship to really know if I want another. Maybe if the other aspects of my life were fulfilling me, it wouldn't be an issue either way.

I know I want to make changes in my life and nurture myself a bit more in the next few months. I went to Waterstone's this mornign and cruised the personal development section. I bought Julia Cameron's 'The Artist's Way' and Martha Beck's 'Find Your Own North Star'. I own a range of other self-help books and I have 3 life coaching sessions I can use - the first one being on Monday.

This is an early New Year's resolution because I intend to start now. My plan is to devise my own programme of change using small steps and being quite practical. None of the self-help books I have read quite fit the format I think I need. I want to follow a workbook or plan and it looks like I'll have to design it myself. however, I will use the books I have as tools and reference materials.

When I submit this blog today, I will get on with writing something for my dissertation supervisor - because I have to meet that deadline. It may not be 5000 words but I will get something to her. After that, I don't want to be in this situation again. It is within my ability to plan and organise my time. I want my life to be more than a timetable, however.

Tomorrow I will start on Julia Cameron's Artist's Way programme and make a plan to make small changes in my life in each of the areas I have identified. The plan will include the following:

• nutrition
• exercise
• timetabling
• time for fun - especially the Artist Date in the Artist's Way programme
• personal pampering
• support
• activity
• travel
• organisation tools for home and work

I will post here daily with an update on how I am getting on with my own self-help programme. It is operation change Sandra's life.